I know what I should do. I feel it in my bones. My mind blinks it in neon thoughts. And pathways illuminated by candor. And although I try the narrow way. Always another voice reasons. Brimming with confidence. Self esteem and the assurance of averages. Occasional laspses hurt me. These thoughts, long hidden, Berate, belittle and embarrass. Truthfully I tell you, These things you should not know. But if I cannot speak, How can I grow?
The canals in my mind turn to channels running deeper still, through underwater chapels and dissolving labels. Swimming beneath waves taking in the slack, blue water turns black, turns cyan then white– blanking perspective. On you, on me on our life under the sea.
Blowing like fall through a mountain valley, the wind is nevertheless silent. Stirring nothing but restless animals from their dark hide-aways, knowing it’s time to sleep, yet the bright nothingness prevents it. Slumber is a far-away thing, a concept and construct foreign to my thoughts. An invader that left heavy machinery when they took root, escaping defenses and burrowing deeper than I can yet reach. Time stands still on this perfect vista, this sand-scrubbed landscape. Seconds tick into not, minutes whirl and crash and hours disappear unproductive. Desire un-tempered, set…read more